In the 1991 movie City Slickers, Mitch Robbins (played by Billy Crystal) asks, "Did you ever reach a point in your life when you say to yourself, 'this is the best I'm ever going to look, this is the best I'm ever going to feel, the best I'm ever going to do, and it ain't that great?'" Mitch's boss replies by wishing him a happy birthday (he has just turned 38), and the audience roars with laughter. We may not be able to define midlife crisis, but we certainly know one when we see it.

What helps us come through this sometimes scary and tumultuous time? There are a number of answers: professional counseling, an understanding family, religious faith, good friends, time. Mitch regained his emotional equilibrium with a midlife getaway. He recovered his lost smile on a New Mexico cattle drive.

My own midlife struggle was helped significantly by a similar experience. No, I didn't herd cattle, but I did go to New Mexico. Over six years ago now, I spent some beautiful January days at a friend's place near Taos. Following are some things I learned there that can make your own midlife getaway successful.

Busy schedules are one reason we need midlife getaways. For this to work, we really do need to get away. We must leave all work at home, along with our appointment calendars, alarm clocks, pagers and cellular phones. I think it's best if we go alone, plan to spend several days, and turn off the TV and radio while there. Unstructured and undisturbed solitude will seem boring and lonely, even scary at first. But what began as a painful experience for me (I didn't want to do this), ended as one of the best times of my life.

Before we can deal with our midlife feelings, we may need to articulate them. I wrote down my hopes and disappointments, my dreams and fears, my joys and complaints, and even my prayers. Then I wrote my observations and insights. These thoughts filled a spiral notebook and still give direction years later.

What have we learned and accomplished during the first half of our lives? A midlife getaway is a good chance to reminisce. I spent one entire afternoon just reviewing the things for which I am grateful. The length of my list surprised me.

What will we do with the remaining years of life? Here's a chance to plan. It will probably help to be specific and jot down the exact steps we hope to take. One thing I decided was to learn to enjoy life again. Somehow in my adult years I had forgotten how to play. I spent one morning just listing all the fun things I want to do during the second half of life.

Of course we don't have to be midlifers to need periodic getaways. Henry David Thoreau was in his late 20s when he retreated for a while to Walden Pond, and his words still express the best reason for such an experience: "I went to the woods because I wished to live deliberately, to front only the essential facts of life, and see if I could not learn what it had to teach, and not, when I came to die, discover I had not lived."