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by Mike Bellah

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The Best Years Bed and Breakfast Inn

Hi. And welcome to the first bed and breakfast inn dedicated exclusively to midlifers and located completely in cyberspace. Whether you've come to have fun (most of us are here at least partly to play), to just get away, to discover and reaffirm your identity and passion in life, to recover from a loss, or to work through a midlife crisis; I'm glad you're here.

So put on some grubbies, take your shoes off, and stroll leisurely through the grounds. You'll meet some of my old friends here (people like Meg, Gordon, my sister D'Lynne and wife Charlotte) and my new ones (people like Susanne, Kathy, Truet, Dan and Alice). There's plenty of opportunity to visit with them and me, so come on in and look around. And be sure to sign the guest registry. We want to know who's walking these trails with us.

The Best Years Bed and Breakfast by Year
April-December 1997 January-December 1998 January-December 1999 January-December 2000 January-December 2001
The Best Years Bed and Breakfast 1999
January-March April-May June-August September-October November-December

Guests of Midlife Moments by Date: January-March 1999
(dates posted may not be the same as dates received)

January 2, 1999

Happy New Year everyone. You'll find new things this week on the Letting Go discussion, the Urgent/Important discussion, and the Our Desires Are Too Weak discussion. I'm glad you stopped by and hope you're enjoying Best Years.


You may visit with me and other guests of Best Years 24 hours per day at Friends of Best Years. Click here for a free trial.

January 9, 1999

Hi. You'll find a couple of new posts today on The Autumn of Our Years Discussion. Also notice that I'm no longer doing the Q & A page. Instead this page will become a list of resources for those with specific questions about midlife. I hope you'll find it helpful.

Again, thanks for visiting Best Years. Feel free to post a message to this page to say hello.


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January 17, 1999

Hi, my name is Paul Brock from White Cloud, Mich. My wife and I just got our first good computer and now I am learning to serf the net. I came across your site just by chance and read some of the letters. You have a really nice setup here, I think their ought to more of them, so people can have someone to talk to and maybe get some answers to some problems or maybe just not to feel alone in the world, good luck with your site and I will come back and do some reading.

January 23, '99

Thank you Mike and Family for the invite. I am most interested in a haven from this blustery world of go go go and do do do. That is me and I am totally exhausted. Your midlife center was recommended to me by an employer - who is, by the way, one of the persons and personas that I most want to bide away from. I have only just begun my sojourn in your bed & breakfast, and look forward to knowing this place more closely.


January 29, '99

Knowing that it is the best years gives alot of pleasure to this aging person. Having had a fantastic 51 years befor this has not had the comfort that I really thought would come to me natually now. So hearing your reports can be my salvation. Thanks for your understanding.

Fondly, Linda

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February 6, '99

I just want to let you know that I think your website is super. My about-to- turn-40 husband has suddenly become insecure, worried that I'm not interested in him anymore, and is filled with guilt and shame over past failures. We have been communicating about the changes, and we're Christians so he's turned to the Word as his main source of comfort, but it's still very difficult. I was thrilled to find your site tonight while searching for some clues about what was causing him to behave this way, and I was especially encouraged to find that you also are a Christian. I believe that the Lord led me to "bestyears.com" and I wanted to let you know that your service is also a great ministry, and I'll be praying that God will continue to use you as an encourager and to bless you for your faithfulness to serve. Thank you!



This is an excellent column (the Q & A page). I regret your discontinuing it. I am trying to make sense out of the "Best Friends of Best Years" column but I find that is a tad confusing. Might you start the Q & A column again in the future -- even for a fee? I sincerely hope so. The format is clear, concise and extremely informative.

Also, I think your columns are excellent. You needn't be a psychologist or psychiatrist to touch the hearts of your readers. Your experience, observations and views on the topic of mid-life crisis are invaluable.

Thank you for an extraordinary website.

Sincerely, Christine, Newtown, Pennsylvania.


howdy mike ...

i'm new to your website ... i was searhing for info for career change in midlife ... i wanted info to read to help me motivate me towards lost dreams or create new dreams ... honestly, i'm very happy and satisfied where i'm at right now ...

it's others who have caused me question if where i'm at is all where i want to be ...

your article has helped enlightened me and helps me to put things back into perspective ... i will definitedly be sharing your very fruitful articles with a few others that i think will be very happy to read what you have to say ... i also intend to finish your other articles ... thanks j


Mike, I am a psychotherapist intern planning a time limited group for women in transition (often the midlife transition that we get thrust into by divorce, children leaving home, parents death, etc.) I found your web site interesting and entertaining.

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February 13, 1999


I'm June from Fort Worth,Tx. I was searching for info on midlife crisis and found your site. So many stories sound just like mine. I'm glad I found you!


thank you for the understanding. my body isn't old, but...well nevermind. i'm 21 and understand that these relationships are the most important thing in the world. you had given me insight into so much that i hadn't considered just wanted to thank you.


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February 20, 1999

Hi From The Lower East Side of New Yawk

Just bought this computer a month ago and am blown away by the incredible info. that's avail.-including you're very creative www. I'm 43, single, and left a job with a major retailer last Nov 6th (after 12+ yrs). I spent 4 weeks in a work-scholar program at the Esalen Institute in Big Sur, CA, which was enriching. Now I'm back home and am pondering what to do when I grow up. It ain't easy.....but your www provides humor, spirit, and a bit of optimism. Thouhgt I'd check in and say hi! All the Best. Art F.

March 5, 1999

Dear Mike,

I came to your page quite by accident this morning. I was in search of thoughts on --"what we can do for our children?" and so entered at the hotbot search -- the words -- "raising children". What I found was good, very good. And I thank you for it.

I have been retired for four years and will turn 65 in May. While ice skating one day recently a casual friend who slates, as I do at a near-by skating rink, announced that he was going to be celebrating his 60th birthday in June. I thought it a little soon to be talking about the up coming event. He felt good I think to think that he had made it to the ripe old age of 60. I did not reveal my age to him, but rather encouraged him for having taken good care of himself and being able to skate so well, etc. I felt it was his moment and did not want to diminish it for him.

Its funny I still feel that I am in my middle years. But I have to be honest -- I officially become an old man when I turn 65 in May. Life has been good to me and I remain able to contribute to the community in which I live and while pursuing a new career in art and continuing to enjoy a reasonably active physical life.

I've gone on too long, but wanted you to know that I find your writing most enlightening, even at now. We all can benefit from the uplifting, encouraging words of others, if we remain open to them. I intend to do just that.

Thanks again!


March 13, 1999


"I am becoming my parents - I hoped that would never happen" ...Harry Boomer

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